Blog
to look and to see.
On 02, Nov 2011 | No Comments | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
it was night.
and not just any night.
a special night.
that only comes once
a year.
the night where
we pretend to be the
thing we are not.
no, i’m not talking about
everyday struggles.
i’m talking about
an organized collective
we call Halloween.
this particular
night i am with a small
princess.
her pink polyester gown
barely keeping her warm
in the night’s air.
before we head outside
a quick moment catches us
standing.
side by side.
looking into a mirror.
“you look so pretty.” i tell the princess.
she takes a step closer,
seeing.
she takes a step back,
swooshing her dress.
her cheeks hold her grin.
“i know.” she breathes.
jack-o-lanterns light the paths
while the kids’ bubbled excitement
swells large
as the night holds them.
the princess and i
walk hand in hand.
mine bare.
hers mitted.
“ooooh!” squeals the princess
pointing her hand into the sky.
“look! can’t you see it? the moon.
it is following me!”
“why is it following you?”
i ask.
the princess sighs,
“i don’t know,
but every night.
the moon always finds me.”
i pause.
“maybe the moon
really likes you.” i say.
“yeah,” the princess puts her
mitted hand over her mouth, giggling,
“i think your right.”
she looks up at me.
pure delight written all over
her face.
that night, i call her “princess”.
and every time,
she responds,
“but that’s not my name!
your forgot!”
she laughs at my mistake.
while i can’t help longing for
this ‘knowing’
the young princess possesses
of her own self.
and we walk on,
the princess and i.
past orange lights and
smiling pumpkins.
she pauses and sees it all.
each pumpkin,
each strand of lights,
each costume,
she tells each thing of its
beauty.
again we round a corner
and there it is.
bright and shiny and so mysteriously
hanging in the sky.
the moon.
it found the princess again.
the princess shrieks
with excitement to have been
found twice
in one evening.
she takes a step closer,
seeing.
she takes a step back,
as she declares,
“it is so beau-tee-ful!”
even this night.
when we put a costume
on her,
call her a different
name,
tell her she is something
else.
the young girl knows.
she knows who she is.
she sees herself.
she knows her imagine.
her own beauty
is no stranger to her.
who can say this little girl
is proud?
conceited?
no.
she is not.
she just simply knows.
because she so clearly sees
herself
she has the proper chance to
experience the world around her.
and so for us.
may we look.
and may we know.
then may we all begin
to see.
alice’s wonderland.
On 20, Oct 2011 | No Comments | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
have you ever read,
alice in wonderland?
perhaps you saw the movie
as a child.
maybe it intrigued
frightened & fascinated
you
all at the same time.
it did me.
but the book…
let’s just say…
reading is so much
different that seeing
anyway this quote
found me
today.
the conversation between
alice and the caterpillar:
“Who are you?”
said the Caterpillar.
This was not
an encouraging opening
for a conversation.
Alice replied,
rather shyly,
“I–I hardly know, Sir,
just at present–at least
I know who I was when I got
up this morning,
but I think I must
have been changed
several times since then.”
“What do you mean by that?”
said the Caterpillar, sternly.
“Explain yourself!”
“I can’t explain
myself,
I’m afraid, Sir,”
said Alice,
“because I’m not myself, you see.”
and.
i agree with alice.
sometimes so many changes
can make me feel
quite confused.
but i like her journey.
she is a brave girl.
until next time,
-n.
find your feet.
On 17, Oct 2011 | No Comments | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
it might not feel normal
to be discussing new year
dreams and resolutions
in the orangey middle of
october.
so please if you can offer a bit
of forgiveness to this soul…
because i am….
that is, dwelling on
some particular thoughts and hopes
i held a mere ten months
ago.
one of which was to sit on a
beach
{in Thailand}
with my feet dug into the sand
feeling the cold tingling
smoothness
only the insides of beaches
can offer.
to sit on this beach
all day.
to watch sunrise
and sunset.
that was my promise to myself.
the purpose?
to be still and watch the world’s
movement.
for just one day.
to appreciate the cycle.
to lay on my back
and if i was very quiet
and still,
and still,
to see if i could feel
the world’s turning.
maybe it’s a silly idea.
but then…
it seemed important.
a gift i would give myself.
but here ten months later
instead of standing on the
beaches of Thailand,
i found myself instead meandering
amongst the rocks
of the North Shore.
and while there was
no tingling and coolness of the sand,
the earth was still doing its thing.
the sun still greeting and giving.
the moon still brightening and beckoning.
i couldn’t help wondering
about that promise i made to myself
more than 300 days past.
sometimes choices are made that
change all foreseen plans.
sometimes choices are made that
usurp the life you knew.
but when the dust settles if you look
down
you will find your feet.
your trusty feet.
who have carried you
faithfully this far
and won’t abandon you yet.
even if you find yourself
standing someplace
you would
have never imagined.
so just stand on them.
and wait.
the sun will come.
the world will turn.
and the moon with keep you
company.
wherever you find yourself.
whether in Thailand
the North Shore
the office
or the living room.
here’s to standing.
– n.
whether in Thailand
the North Shore
the office
or the living room.
here’s to standing.
– n.
can i show you: perfect?
On 16, Oct 2011 | No Comments | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
has perfection ever found you?
perfection in what…??
you may ask.
but i will ask again.
has perfection ever found you?
and perhaps you will answer “yes”.
and then i will know.
that you are a friend
of the
it.
is.
perfect.
because not only does the
rough and craggy
coastline
of the ocean-like lake
speak of vastness
big skies,
and icy waters.
but also it speaks of
the absolute
perfection of the small towns
scattered along the coast.
these towns will in fact
capture your heart and imagination.
like the bike store.
come rent a bike.
or the world’s best donut shop.
what a claim!
and who can live up to
such a high claim?
but what about the famous
BEN FRANKLIN?
even the fashionable insides
of this town staple
know how to attract the old timers,
the townies, the hunters,
and of course the hipsters…
just put a bird on it.
and then there are cafes.
that sell ice cream cones as big
as your face.
you know what is else is perfect?
cabins.
the perfect cabins.
not all people have been to
the perfect cabin.
and so…
let’s go together because will take you.
will you join?
when you come in,
perhaps you’ll need somewhere
to hang your
oversized blue sweater.
don’t worry!
there is a spot for that.
right here.
then there is the kitchen.
where all things lovely must
be cooked.
and now?
you need a nap you say?
let me show you your
perfect napping locations.
what will you choose?
here?
or the one cushion couch?
the owl will keep you company
while you snooze.
if you are like me.
{which you may or may not be}.
you will want a place
to sit and rest.
and read a whole book.
in one sitting.
this might be a good spot.
to turn the pages one by one.
and if you notice a little dust
or dirt.
you won’t fret
because you will just vrrrroom
it up
with this beauty.
looks fun right?
do you have vacuum envy?
i should think so!
and then you might look out
this window
and discover the smallest
bit of red
beckoning you outside.
but first.
the blue door.
if you are not careful
it will slap close upon your exit.
so be gentle.
and then you see them.
the berries.
that surround and
brighten the outsides.
and look.
we are almost finished.
because now there is
nothing else to do.
except sit down.
and enjoy the view.
we are almost finished.
because now there is
nothing else to do.
except sit down.
and enjoy the view.
and now you know.
and now you’ve seen.
perfection.
i hope {it} finds you.
here i am.
On 14, Oct 2011 | No Comments | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
there are few things
that make me feel more alive
and amused
than a coffee cafe in the morning hours.
the people.
oh they are just so priceless.
hearing some rousing
political discussion about
how those “rich people” just don’t
want to do their part.
and a concerned exchange
how just
how likely it is that zombies
will take over the world
in the coming years.
and when {not if} they do,
what is it they are wanting?
the leaves are falling purposefully.
the wind defies traffic
sweeping the trees’ gifts
the wrong way down the
one way.
with coffee in hand.
the fingers flying across the keys.
the 1960s grooving
the air.
and…
there is no where else for me
to be
except right here.
so i take my shoes off.
i think i’ll stay awhile.
here i am.
where do you find yourself today?
the happiest of fridays to you dear people.
apples on the ground.
On 28, Sep 2011 | One Comment | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
i went picking for some apples.
tis the season.
right?
right.
so convinced a friend
to join me
and we headed off
on one delightfully autumnal
day.
after all
this is why
fall is so dearly loved.
because it produces
these sorts of days…
some might call them
perfect.
this particular apple orchard:
truly did have it all.
hay mountains.
corn mazes.
open grills.
friendly animals.
kind staff members.
i was mostly interested
in the apples.
and picking my own.
and my friend?
she was interested in
a hay ride.
lucky us.
we could head in the
same direction.
upon paying for our
plastic bag
that allowed us to
begin our search for
our
peck of apples,
we were one of the many
swarmingly
eager
apple-pickers
roaming the rows.
it was late in the day.
and the rows had thoroughly
been picked over.
and we quickly noticed
the apple trees
no longer held any
apple in their branches.
i spotted a rosy apple
under a tree.
i picked it up.
inspected it.
thought about it.
then i bit.
and do you know?
it was perfect.
a little boy accompanied
by his parents
mimicked my action.
“honey! no! that’s icky!
we don’t eat things on the ground.”
said his mom.
she took his hand and
the small boy and i
exchanged confused looks
as he passed by.
many of the
eager
apple-pickers flew by
with frustrated remarks about,
“how there are no apples left!”
and
“don’t they know there are no
apples here!”
and before we knew
it.
we were quite alone
amongst the bare trees.
and we began to notice.
that some someones
were dearly loving the
apples absence from
the trees.
and so this is how
our apple-picking trip
turned into an
apple-seeking trip.
because instead of looking up
for apples.
we roamed and dug around
with the bees
to see what we could find.
and we found some beauties.
some might even have
called these apples…
perfect.
you do you know?
we filled our whole peck.
and i had such a nice time.
i think i’ll go back
next year.
perhaps next time
i will actually have the
opportunity to
pick.
the apple from the tree.
but perhaps not.
and either way.
i’ll still eat it.
because yes.
i do.
and i will.
eat food on the ground.
until next
autumnal activity…
everything autumn.
On 23, Sep 2011 | No Comments | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
i smelt it tuesday evening.
while i was cradling a
cuppa tea
while i was out for
late afternoon stroll
with a girlfriend.
it took me two deep inhales
to believe it was here.
autumn.
and since it was only
one year ago
that i discovered
one of my favorite
words of all time:
…autumnal…
favorite word
On 22, Sep 2011 | No Comments | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
i smelt it tuesday evening.
while i was cradling a
cuppa tea
while i was out for
late afternoon stroll
with a girlfriend.
it took me two deep inhales
to believe it was here.
autumn.
and since it was only
one year ago
that i discovered
one of my favorite
words of all time:
…autumnal…
e.kate & the retro benefit.
On 26, Aug 2011 | No Comments | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
last night.
as the sun was beginning
to retire
for the night…
i squeezed into a car
with a few girlfriends
and we headed west.
{and who doesn’t want to
head west?}
but there was no mindless
wandering in store for us
this night.
no
we knew exactly where
we were headed.
to the orchard house.
for a very special event:
thrown to in honor of
the local Minneapolis
organization:
tucked contentedly
down a twisty-curvy road,
intriguingly held
by high-reaching greens
we found the
orchard house,
e.kate designs.
{click here to experience goodness.}
and much.much.more.
artists such as
circa vintage
&
{who, by the way,
is quickly becoming one of my
all-time favorite
artists, see how her
work connects time spans
and tells a story…
love.}
accompanied
e.kate
in this fabulously
vintage event.
the inside of
the orchard house
is ooohh too charming
with it’s bright
turquoise walls
and sky-reaching ceiling.
the walls are tastefully
cluttered with artists
imaginative creations
to tempt and ahhh
any beauty-seeker.
to judge by the crowded
orchard house
with the lovelies mingling,
sipping champagne,
and looking too wonderful to
not be accompanying the
art on the walls…
i must assume the
event was quite the success.
it was an
enchanting evening.
so.
the orchard house.
grab a girlfriend.
and get there.
you won’t regret it.
i promise.
– n
two hands. and one heart.
On 15, Aug 2011 | One Comment | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
in … out.
in …. out.
it’s the
in … out.
that sometimes is the
hardest.
because i forget.
how it feels.
why it’s important.
and there is only blankness.
darkness?
yes.
lightness?
i can’t be sure.
whiteness.
i think.
nothingness?
nothingness?
nothingness.
it’s confusing.
how can there be the
unknown amidst the known?
confusion amidst the clear?
staleness amidst the beauty?
beauty amidst the pain?
emotions amidst the nothingness?
i only have two hands.
and one heart.
how can it possibly all be held?
the opening
seems so small.
and there doesn’t appear
to be enough
space.
in … out.
in …. out.
it’s the
in … out.
1.2..3…
remember.
you can do it.
but.
i only have two hands.
and one heart.
how can i ask them
to hold so much?
sometimes it’s just a matter
of finding the light.
and remembering how to let
it encircle…
regardless of the
blackness
the darkness
the whiteness
the nothingness
that resides
within.
in … out.
in …. out.
in ….. out.
breath.
just.
| my friend’s view through her lens. |
wherever you find yourself today
find your breath.
look at your two hands.
and one heart.
and let the light
encircle you.
because today.
these things are enough.
hoping for…
– n.
stay in touch
