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easter: tradition
On 25, Apr 2011 | One Comment | In Uncategorized | By Natalie
i was on the phone
with my mom
just the other day.
we talked of the upcoming
holiday:
easter.
being far away from
family and friends,
i asked what festivities
would be taking place at home
without me.
the easter egg hunt?
the egg dying?
the visiting easter bunny?
lunch?
brunch?
family photos?
no, she replied.
the usual easter festivities
are on pause
until another year, she said.
because
this year my family finds itself
stationed in various
locations
around the globe.
we are not together.
and so the usual is not
the usual this year.
before i knew what was happening.
i was …. angry.
at my mom.
my mom?
whose children have traveled far
from her by their own accord.
whose children are not filling
her house this holiday.
i was angry at
my mom.
because when you are not home.
you imagine that home still goes on.
in fact, you need it to.
because it is home.
it’s your culture.
it’s your traditions.
it has made you
who you are.
but what i sometimes forget…
is that MY CHOICES
affect the whole.
MY CHOICES,
not to be classified as
good
or
bad.
but just as MY CHOICES.
they affect my mom,
they affect home.
my irrational anger
turned to simple disappointment,
all the while giving me
greater understanding
of myself
of what i want
and what i desire in life.
i realized that i needed
the traditions.
the remembrance of the traditions
when i find myself
a long way from home.
because it is the traditions
that serve as a reminder of
who i am
of who i want to be
and of where i come from.
because sometimes it takes
distance for you
realize that you need
reminders.
reminders
of who you are.
who you want to be.
and where it is you came from.
so, dear friends,
make the traditions.
remind your family, your friends,
your sisters,
your children, your aunties
and cousins.
remind them to mark the days.
because someday
you might find that your little girl
has traveled a long way
from home.
and you might find that you miss her on
the special days.
but you can be sure…
you can be sure that the traditions,
the way you marked the days,
while they might have
seemed foolish,
so much work and effort
at the time.
you can be sure,
that she now holds onto them.
perhaps clings to them
as she is out there
in the world.
as she walks confidently out into
the world,
she holds within her
bits of you
that you gave her
steadily over the years.
she might never acknowledge it.
to you
or even herself.
but it matters.
the traditions,
they matter.
mark the days.
so when distance separates,
you can be reminded.
that is…
if you need a reminder
which, sometimes we do.
this is how my mom celebrated her easter day this year.
with a small red pot of tea, the afternoon sun, along the mississippi river…
this is how i celebrated my easter day this year.
with some friends, a blanket, the afternoon sun, along the river…
happy easter.
-
Missing you deeply.
Learning to treasure the memories that have been and those that are emerging – it all belongs.
I love you ~mom
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