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easter and unaware.

On 28, Mar 2011 | No Comments | In Uncategorized | By Natalie

the usual reminders of Easter’s 
approach
are not reminding.

there are no chocolate bunnies
for sale in every department store.
pastel colors have no
special place in advertising
or decals.

i hardly know what to do
with Easter. 
bunnies are not my thing.
pastels make my head sick.
waxy chocolate cannot tempt me.
egg decorating is not my hidden talent.


the Easter bunny always visited my house
leaving a small,
pink, fluffy trail behind
for two little (or grown) girls to follow
toward the basket at the end. 


i grew up excited about these traditions.
about a new Easter dress
even though this thought was always
a bit ridiculous due to
the untimely 
snowstorms that were inevitable
around Easter.
snow pilling the earth
often was the spoiler of my Easter
hopes.


but Easter.
has changed.
as have i.






a couple of years ago.
i had a falling out.
with the beliefs of my youth.


it was intense.
and it affected every bit
 of my being.


there was anger,
frustration,
irrational thoughts,
passionate rants,
mind-filled turmoil.
no question was too big.
it was asked.

turning turning turning
upside down
inside out and empty.
the examining of every smallest
thought in ever corner.
nothing was left 
unturned.
uncontemplated.




and i found it hard…
impossible to go back.
because going back is not
an option.
all we have is the here.
and now.
and we must walk on.


but i didn’t know how.
because it was all
so new.
especially one Easter season,
not so long ago.
i didn’t know how
if
what
or
why
to celebrate.




one afternoon.
when i was with a friend.
who i deeply, deeply admire.
in the middle
of a passionate rant
i stopped.
i stopped to ask her.
“why? why does Easter even matter?”


i remember.
she paused.
for several moments.
her hand reminded those 
brown bangs
to stay behind
her ear.


“you know? i think it matters
because
it reminds us.
that love…
love is the way.
and love wins.




Easter? no.
it had to be more than that.
it’s about
god
and graves
and tombs
and death
and a son of god and woman
and re-living.


about sins
and crosses
and three days
and one answer
and lillys
and bunnies
and pastel colors.


love?
how can it be about love?


because a man
a man, the story tells us,
named jesus.
came and lived.
and changed things.
he showed it was not
the rules
and not
the violence
that were the answers.


the rules,
the “whose in and whose out”,
the violence


they were not the way.


there was another way…


a way that wins.
always.


the way of love.




and so may we be reminded today:
Easter.
love is the way.


in the broken relationships
that you think will never be whole…


in the moments of frustration
that you think no understanding will come…


when morning comes and you are
covered in clinging sadness…


when evil stares down at you, oppresses you with 
dictators, machine guns and foreign policy…


when a child greets you
with excitement and joy…


when two worlds far far away become one
just for a few fleeting moments…


when new life comes forth
from what appeared to be only death and darkness…


when you discover that truth
is all around you…


love. is. the. way.


and this year, before the sun rises on Easter morning
i will wake and early
and find the hills
with the words from my friend
tucked securely in, around and through me.


i want to whisper something to the pines
and scream something to the wind…
that is year
i think i might believe it.





love wins.























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