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exploring

26

Dec
2011

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In exploring

By Natalie

happy christmas: i am home.

On 26, Dec 2011 | No Comments | In exploring | By Natalie


i’ll be home for Christmas,
you can count on me.
i’ll be home for Christmas…

… if only in my dreams.
last year
i sang this song 
with a bit of 
a catch in my throat.
{a lump really}.
because i was no where
near home.
quite far far away actually.
and sometimes
that something in my throat
was just too much 
to swallow.
it would brim over,
seeping out
the sides of my eyes.
even when
i never asked it to.
because i missed…
the blustery snow.
the trimmed tree.
the cozy house.
the driveway shoveling.
the cooking making.
the caroling at the market.
the Eve service tradition.
the family gatherings.
the faces.
i missed home.
and yet, here i am now
an entire year later.
still in a place
quite different from my home
marking the day of Christmas. 
and it was this very afternoon
that i sat
amongst my sister, mom and dad,
when this song…
that song.
carried itself through the 
speakers and filled our
Christmas-space.
i’ll be home for Christmas,
you can count on me… 
i noticed.
there was no catch
this time.
because i realized.
that wherever i am.
south or north or east
it doesn’t much
matter.
because in fact
it is not the place
that tells me.
no.
it’s those 3 people.
mom & dad & sister.
they are the ones that tell me.
my body rests,
and my mind can take a sigh.
and i just know
that wherever i am
with these people.
yes indeed.
i am home.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
wishing you well
wherever you find yourself
this Christmas,
– n.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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