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those kinds of friends.

On 24, May 2013 | No Comments | In remembering | By Natalie

Shame on me.

No really. I’ve been meaning to write this post for months now, almost 7 months to be exact. You see, this time I really do deserve a proper “shame on you” finger wagging from myself for this kind of thing. Read more…

22

May
2013

No Comments

In sharing

By Natalie

the words find us

On 22, May 2013 | No Comments | In sharing | By Natalie

“i shall make all things well,
and i will make all things well;
and you will see yourself that every
kind of thing will be well.”

 

Julian of Norwich,
a mysterious, female mystic
from a tumultuously mysterious time.
 
it has been said that when
Mother Julian was writing these words,
she was expressing her
deepest sense of spirituality and 
beliefs about her Creator.
 
she authored,
Sixteen Revelations of Divine Love,
when she was only 30 years old.
this book is said to be the first
book written by an English woman.
 
words seem to find us.
 
and it’s remarkable how words,
said more than 600
years ago
 
still have the power to
jump off the page
and make me
catch my breath.
 
on a wednesday afternoon
in a random book
off the highest shelf
at one of my favorite city
haunts.
 
 
 

she asked the sun.

On 24, Apr 2013 | No Comments | In creating, sharing | By Natalie

And so, she asked the sun,
“Sun, how is it that every day you
are able to shine so bright?”
But the sun did not respond.
And so she asked again,
“Sun, what makes you give off
such heat?”
But again, the sun did not respond.
Discouraged, the girl crosses her arms
across her chess,
turns on her heels,
and begins to march away
down the broken sidewalk.
It is then that the girl sees {and feels} it:
the warmth on her back and
the light on the road ahead.
And the girl thinks,
“My path, ever golden, follows the sun.”
– a poem by my friend written to me
quite some time ago.

Tags | ,

13

Dec
2012

No Comments

In noticing

By Natalie

admiring their greenness.

On 13, Dec 2012 | No Comments | In noticing | By Natalie

i have two succulents 
living with me

on 2701 grand avenue south.


one is tall and sure and stretching.

the other is full and ample and branching.

these past few weeks, 
as the temperatures

bite

and mornings mean 
leaving the comfy cave 
of rest that’s kindly held me 
during the blackness of night,
to enter the air of chill 
that hovers and hangs in my room.
and this morning, 
as my head peaks out

to test the gelid temps

i wondered about my resident succulents.


outside icicles cling to
buildings, garages,

rubbish bins, tree branches.

coldness envelops us

as it often does this time of year.

and this morning, 
I worry for my 2 resident succulents.

when the sun comes out

{only ever so rarely}

i rush them to that sun soaked spot.

my resident succulents

speak their appreciation because they

continue to grow.

Green.
despite the cold.
taller & wider they reach.
when the shine comes out

i too rush to rearrange myself accordingly.

i also crave the sun’s warm attention.

when you are meant for warmth

how can you grow in the depths of winter?

i appreciate their Greenness.

maybe, I am even a bit envious of it.

no color is like Green. None.

Green is the perfect color to allow 
absorbing & defining 
of oneself.

it’s gentle yet firm.

it’s inviting yet knowing.

it’s comforting and never overwhelming.

it not afraid to adjust according to seasons

all the while always remaining itself.

this morning i wonder 
for my 2 green resident succulents.

how can you grow, keep growing, keep reaching

when the climate engulfs, inhaling the life

when the air is less than ideal

when the surroundings confuse your core

when what’s home becomes foreign

when you can hardly breathe

how can you?

grow.

today i brought them to the warmest

most comfortable part of 2701 grand avenue south.

to the center of all things.

the kitchen table.


today they will sit

side by side.

in the shine of the sun.

with their green leafs stretching.

touching.


despite the imperfect space,

the confusion, the thin and fragile air,

even if gasping for air is the best
you can do

know this.


there is more in you

than you think.

and despite the enveloping circumstances

your green will still shine.

your roots will still dig.

and that small patch of sun 
will touch something 
deep inside

& you will be reminded that

all will indeed be well.

it will.

growing.
reaching.
stretching.

even in the harshness of circumstances
cold & winter.


Life is here.



– n.




somedays i miss it.

On 29, Nov 2012 | No Comments | In expating, remembering | By Natalie

somedays i do.
other days i don’t.

but today i do.
– n.

30

Oct
2012

No Comments

In noticing

By Natalie

sandy here she comes

On 30, Oct 2012 | No Comments | In noticing | By Natalie

today has been full of
early morning hours.

stacks of paper.
computer screens.
coffee mugs.
face-to-face encounters.
words, words & then more
words.

dinner and cauliflower.
designs and dreams.
hopes and goals.
listening and direction.

excitement
anticipation.
typing keys.
roommate energy
and roommate jokes.

today life, it was busy today.

coffers still coffeed at 
their favorite local spots.
traffic existed in only its 
predictably jerky inconsistency 
during the usual times of day. 

yellow buses picked up loads of backpacks 
with kids attached. 

and just like that, 
without hardly noticing…
today, my world went on.

but meanwhile elsewhere 
just due miles East, the world as they know it 
stopped.
No literally.
Stopped.

No subway lines.
No taxis. 
No buses.
No traffic lights.

No Wall Street.
No Stock Exchange.
Nothing.
just people…
being told to stay indoors. 
And wait.

wait for the rain
for the damage
for the unknown.

oh deary what’s your name?
did they say Sandy?
oh sandy sandy
so strong and so mighty.
my heart goes out to
those in your
path.

– n.




29

Oct
2012

3 Comments

In noticing

By Natalie

tonight i went to service

On 29, Oct 2012 | 3 Comments | In noticing | By Natalie

tonight i went to service
for one purpose
and one purpose only.
to hear
to listen
to feel
the drums.

there’s something particularly perfect
about music,
about drums.
the beat
the pulse
the rhythm.

it gets in you, through you
reverberating across within without
your entire being.

and if you can, just for a moment
zoom in on it, the drums.
only it.
the beat
the pulse
the rhythm.

in that moment
when you meet the drum
you might notice
that it guides the entire
collection of notes.

can you? do you?

it does. because
it holds
it brings
it defines.

it’s particularly extraordinary really.
those drums.

and in that moment
between only you & the drum
if you listen closely
you will
hear
listen
feel

your heart.
in there.
in you.
contentedly beating inside.
reverberating amongst bones & echoing
down veins
in the only home it’s ever known.

your heart.
it’s content to be alive
and do all it has ever done and ever
hopes to do:

to beat out the rhythm
of your life.

there’s something particularly perfect
about the drums.
to remind us
how to
hear
listen
feel

that one thing.
that one thing
that’s always been inside.

– n.




23

Jun
2012

No Comments

In exploring

By Natalie

coco-cola kind of day

On 23, Jun 2012 | No Comments | In exploring | By Natalie

there was nothing left to be done.

first the Coca-Cola.
down it went.
sip by sip by sip.
then the Fanta.
because i couldn’t help
myself.
because somedays
{like today}
you just can’t resist.
and when those days come
{you should know they will}
be sure to cheers yourself to
the perfect summer day
and to
old bottles
filled with a
little something cold.
cheers!
>>>

to my biggest fan.

On 18, Jun 2012 | One Comment | In remembering | By Natalie

as i sat down to
write in his card this morning
i realized
he really is quite good at
so many things.


like running tons of miles
over his lunch hour.
and biking all day
or at least 50 miles.


then there’s motorcycles & sailboats.
his information about any and all
weather situations.
things like
cutting down trees & getting lost
in Costco aisles.
like when to follow maps & when
to find your own way. 


of course things like
seeing & listening.
investing wisely.
teaching truth.
making friends 
wherever he goes.
enjoying his every circumstance.

see?
so many things.


but there’s one thing he’s
really good at.
and what’s funny is
he underwent absolutely zero training
for this endeavor.


and he actually seems to
be better at this one
than all the rest.


well, maybe i’m just biased.
(could be).


so Dad.
thanks for being the one
i call
dad.


want to know something?
i didn’t choose you.
and quite honestly you didn’t
exactly choose me either.


but Dad, here’s the thing.
you’ve chosen me
each and everyday 
of my life.


and i know
beyond a shadow of a doubt
that you’ll choose me
again tomorrow & the next day
and for as many days
as we have to come… 


and that.
that has made 
all the difference.


to my biggest fan.
(ps i’m yours too).


happy father’s day.


xo,


n.

when the words go out

On 13, Jun 2012 | One Comment | In creating, wondering | By Natalie

it’s been a long while
since i’ve headed
to the library
with such intensity
and purpose.

when all around me
there are words
words words

and i discover that
i have nothing left to give
you
you
or you.
or actually you either.
or myself.

it’s then that i need to
jump in.
off deep.
swirl and twirl and turn and roll.
flip and glance, skim and read
again&again&again.

when all the words go out of me.
there is little to do except keep the
fear away.
away.
away.

and search for connection.

yes.
to be with what is.

roaming the aisles
of books
like an impulsive buyer, while
making no commitments that
cannot be kept.

up and down each aisle i go.
car repairs to travel.
chinese to teen fiction.
american history & the ancient wisdoms.

poets and their poems.
design and redecorating.
a children’s book to teach what
really needs
to be known.

an author, just grab all 4 of her books
in order to hear how her voice
might change and grow.

i just need them near.
these words that are not my own.
from room to room
i carry them.
sit them next to me while i work,
while i eat
while i call through the phone.

friends i’ll never know.
but their words they left behind.
they are not mine.
they’re theirs.
except.
if the time is right
our words might grow together.

deep roots.
yet, new branches reaching
further than
either them or i can begin to
imagine.

and here they sit.
safe with me.
and me with them.
the words.
the words of another.
the words of others.

and so my mind can be calm.
can settle and rest.
just be.
just be.

my words will come again.
not today,
maybe not tomorrow.
but they’ll be back.
because they never left really.
they were just resting.

resting in the work of another.

but for tonight.
i’ll just flip and turn.
peak and skim.
over&over&over again.
slower this time then skip
to the next.

yes.
to be with what is.

and that’s what to do
when the words go out of you.

– n.