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those kinds of friends.
On 24, May 2013 | No Comments | In remembering | By Natalie
No really. I’ve been meaning to write this post for months now, almost 7 months to be exact. You see, this time I really do deserve a proper “shame on you” finger wagging from myself for this kind of thing. Read more…
the words find us
On 22, May 2013 | No Comments | In sharing | By Natalie
“i shall make all things well,and i will make all things well;and you will see yourself that everykind of thing will be well.”
she asked the sun.
On 24, Apr 2013 | No Comments | In creating, sharing | By Natalie
“My path, ever golden, follows the sun.”
admiring their greenness.
On 13, Dec 2012 | No Comments | In noticing | By Natalie
somedays i miss it.
On 29, Nov 2012 | No Comments | In expating, remembering | By Natalie
somedays i do.
other days i don’t.
sandy here she comes
On 30, Oct 2012 | No Comments | In noticing | By Natalie
today has been full of
early morning hours.
stacks of paper.
computer screens.
coffee mugs.
face-to-face encounters.
words, words & then more
words.
dinner and cauliflower.
designs and dreams.
hopes and goals.
listening and direction.
excitement
anticipation.
typing keys.
roommate energy
and roommate jokes.
today life, it was busy today.
coffers still coffeed at
their favorite local spots.
traffic existed in only its
predictably jerky inconsistency
during the usual times of day.
yellow buses picked up loads of backpacks
with kids attached.
and just like that,
without hardly noticing…
today, my world went on.
but meanwhile elsewhere
just due miles East, the world as they know it
stopped.
No literally.
Stopped.
No subway lines.
No taxis.
No buses.
No traffic lights.
No Wall Street.
No Stock Exchange.
Nothing.
just people…
being told to stay indoors.
And wait.
wait for the rain
for the damage
for the unknown.
oh deary what’s your name?
did they say Sandy?
oh sandy sandy
so strong and so mighty.
my heart goes out to
those in your
path.
– n.
tonight i went to service
On 29, Oct 2012 | 3 Comments | In noticing | By Natalie
tonight i went to service
for one purpose
and one purpose only.
to hear
to listen
to feel
the drums.
there’s something particularly perfect
about music,
about drums.
the beat
the pulse
the rhythm.
it gets in you, through you
reverberating across within without
your entire being.
and if you can, just for a moment
zoom in on it, the drums.
only it.
the beat
the pulse
the rhythm.
in that moment
when you meet the drum
you might notice
that it guides the entire
collection of notes.
can you? do you?
it does. because
it holds
it brings
it defines.
it’s particularly extraordinary really.
those drums.
and in that moment
between only you & the drum
if you listen closely
you will
hear
listen
feel
your heart.
in there.
in you.
contentedly beating inside.
reverberating amongst bones & echoing
down veins
in the only home it’s ever known.
your heart.
it’s content to be alive
and do all it has ever done and ever
hopes to do:
to beat out the rhythm
of your life.
there’s something particularly perfect
about the drums.
to remind us
how to
hear
listen
feel
that one thing.
that one thing
that’s always been inside.
– n.
coco-cola kind of day
On 23, Jun 2012 | No Comments | In exploring | By Natalie
there was nothing left to be done.
to my biggest fan.
On 18, Jun 2012 | One Comment | In remembering | By Natalie
as i sat down to
write in his card this morning
i realized
he really is quite good at
so many things.
like running tons of miles
over his lunch hour.
and biking all day
or at least 50 miles.
then there’s motorcycles & sailboats.
his information about any and all
weather situations.
things like
cutting down trees & getting lost
in Costco aisles.
like when to follow maps & when
to find your own way.
of course things like
seeing & listening.
investing wisely.
teaching truth.
making friends
wherever he goes.
enjoying his every circumstance.
see?
so many things.
but there’s one thing he’s
really good at.
and what’s funny is
he underwent absolutely zero training
for this endeavor.
and he actually seems to
be better at this one
than all the rest.
well, maybe i’m just biased.
(could be).
so Dad.
thanks for being the one
i call
dad.
want to know something?
i didn’t choose you.
and quite honestly you didn’t
exactly choose me either.
but Dad, here’s the thing.
you’ve chosen me
each and everyday
of my life.
and i know
beyond a shadow of a doubt
that you’ll choose me
again tomorrow & the next day
and for as many days
as we have to come…
and that.
that has made
all the difference.
to my biggest fan.
(ps i’m yours too).
happy father’s day.
xo,
n.
when the words go out
On 13, Jun 2012 | One Comment | In creating, wondering | By Natalie
it’s been a long while
since i’ve headed
to the library
with such intensity
and purpose.
when all around me
there are words
words words
and i discover that
i have nothing left to give
you
you
or you.
or actually you either.
or myself.
it’s then that i need to
jump in.
off deep.
swirl and twirl and turn and roll.
flip and glance, skim and read
again&again&again.
when all the words go out of me.
there is little to do except keep the
fear away.
away.
away.
and search for connection.
yes.
to be with what is.
roaming the aisles
of books
like an impulsive buyer, while
making no commitments that
cannot be kept.
up and down each aisle i go.
car repairs to travel.
chinese to teen fiction.
american history & the ancient wisdoms.
poets and their poems.
design and redecorating.
a children’s book to teach what
really needs
to be known.
an author, just grab all 4 of her books
in order to hear how her voice
might change and grow.
i just need them near.
these words that are not my own.
from room to room
i carry them.
sit them next to me while i work,
while i eat
while i call through the phone.
friends i’ll never know.
but their words they left behind.
they are not mine.
they’re theirs.
except.
if the time is right
our words might grow together.
deep roots.
yet, new branches reaching
further than
either them or i can begin to
imagine.
and here they sit.
safe with me.
and me with them.
the words.
the words of another.
the words of others.
and so my mind can be calm.
can settle and rest.
just be.
just be.
my words will come again.
not today,
maybe not tomorrow.
but they’ll be back.
because they never left really.
they were just resting.
resting in the work of another.
but for tonight.
i’ll just flip and turn.
peak and skim.
over&over&over again.
slower this time then skip
to the next.
yes.
to be with what is.
and that’s what to do
when the words go out of you.
– n.