falling from the sky.

plant your hand,
then your foot.
go.
trust your strength.

i can’t
i’m not that strong — but no one
is telling you that but yourself.

there you are.
dangling high above the ground,
alone.

to make the next reach.
the necessary next reach.
the definition of impossible.

you take a
deep breath….

you reach.
muscles tight and
rippling to be
more than they think they can.
knees bang
fingers scrap and slide just short
of their intended destination…

then suddenly,
you’re falling.
falling from the sky.
the moment of sheer panic
slaps your face.
thoughts motor through your mind:
i’m not good enough.
i can’t do it.
i’ll never be able.

a jerk grasps your middle.
your body hang in suspension, swinging
in mid-air.

“you got it,” calls the voice
from below.

——

there’s something humbling about climbing
about falling
about needing another to catch you.

it reminds the soul.
i am fragile.
that i, yes me, that i need others.
that i can’t go it alone.

and when i forget this about myself,
i go climb.

because when you climb
you must first ask another:
will you catch me?
will you help me when i fall?
will you hold me when i’m not strong enough?
will you support me when i lose my footing?
will your voice be the true voice
i hear when my insides shout against me?

and sometimes that other person,
sometimes they say
yes.

yet neither of us say it, even thought we both know it:
they can only help
so much.

because after all,
it’s just you up there on that wall.
alone
with your might and muscle,
your shortcomings and insecurities.
and that voice shouting in
your head.

and so you climb.
you grow and learn and stretch.
you succeed and
you fall.

and then, one day you begin
to understand.
you begin to understand that
some challenges are meant
for you today.
and some are meant for tomorrow.

it’s our work to learn how
to distinguish.
and

it’s our work to learn how
to live in today.

and so we climb.

Tags | confidence, needing another, rock climbing, strength, vertical endeavors